Holmes, Jonathan D. Counsel for Couples: A Biblical and Practical Guide for Marriage Counseling. Grand Rapids, IL: Zondervan, 2019. $22.99
Summary
In Counsel for Couples, Jonathan Holmes has achieved a unique blend of benefits in his writing. He has provided a philosophy of marriage counseling couched in a text both reachable to counselees and useful as a reference tool. The first section lays groundwork for the counselor, setting before him helpful reminders and tips for structuring the sessions and keeping before the reader the necessity to get to the heart of each counseling problem. Helpfully, Holmes's chapters are shot through with practical examples and scenarios, representing composite cases drawn from a wealth of counseling experience.
The second section deals with common couples counseling issues, ranging from infertility and in-laws to abuse and infidelity. Each chapter is sufficiently thorough so as to provide the main principles for counseling but concise enough for reference before a particularly sensitive counseling meeting in the busy ministry schedule. Finally, Holmes helpfully reminded the counselor of the care needed for his/her own soul. He addressed the reality of "compassion fatigue," often confused with burnout, and the strategies necessary to ensure the health of the spiritual caregiver.
Evaluation
Writing from the biblical counseling movement, Holmes did not have a partisan axe to grind. Within his pages, he quoted everyone from Jay Adams to Brad Hambrick. The emphasis leans decidedly toward Hambrick and the CCEF side of the biblical counseling movement. His philosophical commitments are conveyed in the resources and organizations he commends to his readers.
Holmes's allegiance was squarely to the sufficiency of Scripture even as he frequently referenced descriptive studies and findings from secular psychology and sociology. The broad and diverse list of those willing to endorse his book represents a testament to the clear and universal biblical principles he was able to set on display in the text. The pastor, counselor, and small-group leader will find helpful direction on a variety of problems within.
Errata and Questions
1) On p.141, during a quotation of Scripture, the text reads "the sprint of living water" instead of "the spring of living water."
2) On p.270, the text reads, "...insight into the toil people can take on you" instead of "...insight into the toll people can take on you."
3) On p.169, Holmes gave an example of what a counselor might say to a spouse who realizes he needs to be more careful in how he listens and speaks to his wife. In a confusing way, Holmes, speaking through his fictional counselor, suggests to the fictional husband "You could have modeled our God who seeks to pursue and understand before he moves and acts." I understand the spirit of what Holmes is trying to convey here, but this one example sounded odd and out of place given the rest of the book. I am not sure what it would mean for God to "seek to pursue and understand before he moves and acts." Though I am certain many PhD dissertations have evaluated divine contemplation, I doubt God has to listen and understand before he knows how to respond.
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