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"I'll see you when the pandemic is over." Yearnings of a freshly-minted Covid pastor

It’s quite an experience starting your first pastorate. The challenges are even more pronounced when you start your first pastorate during a once-in-a-hundred-year pandemic. There are church members under my care whom I’ve never met. Others have tailored their family’s attendance decisions based on the latest reports of the virus’s severity in our area. All of this is completely understandable. But this doesn’t make the absences any less lamentable. I miss my people. I long for a return to the church in full. I fear for families and marriages that perhaps have by now become used to distance from the ordinary means of grace. I wonder what precedents this unusual time will set.



If I am honest, I have probably shied away from making any broad statements about the pandemic and its effect on the life of the church out of concern for how I will be heard. To some, a warning about what deleterious effects can be wrought by a sustained distance from the local body might be interpreted as a judgmental and conscience-bludgeoning tactic. This is certainly not my intention. Many indeed need to maintain a distance for health reasons. I cannot decide this matter for anyone. On the other hand, a failure to emphasize the crucial importance of the local church might signal to my people that I somehow believe the biblical commands to gather (Hebrews 10:25, e.g.) only apply when doing so is safe. We’d certainly be met with raised eyebrows and furrowed foreheads if we explained this thinking to our Iranian or Chinese brothers and sisters who meet weekly under threat of death. And still further, if I encourage folks to remember that receiving teaching over the internet is not the same as church, some may take this to mean that they shouldn’t watch online at all!


When I look on social media, I see pastors who’ve staked their claim on either side of this problem. Some are saying “it’s time to return.” A large part of my heart is right there, fist-pumping and thinking “that’s right – let’s go – no excuses.” Others have emphasized the need for wisdom and the need to tailor one’s decision to family and medical realities. Again, I find myself right there in agreement. Still others seemed early on to embrace the sudden bump in online viewers (a strategy that has already failed miserably). Since it seems unwise to make bold and brash conscience-burdening pronouncements, I think I’ll instead issue some friendly, pastoral handles. Hopefully these principles can help us think through why, how, and when to return to church.


There is more than one kind of danger

One of the main reasons driving the distance from the local body of believers is a concern for safety. We certainly live in a safety culture. Sociologists Haidt and Lukianoff have documented this change of thinking over the past 40 years in their book The Coddling of the American Mind. In many places in America today, it’s shocking to see a minor riding a bike by himself. “Where are his parents?” one may think. Indeed, in some regions, parents have been prosecuted for child neglect for simply allowing their children to walk home from school.

Now, it’s certainly a good thing to wear a helmet. Some of the outflow of the safety emphasis has worked to preserve the life of image bearers of God, and for this we can rejoice. However, it’s a virtue to examine one’s historical moment. What cultural idols exist today? In America, it’s hard to find idols more pervasive than safety and comfort.

This does not mean that those who are keeping their distance from the church are sinning. But it’s worthwhile for us to check our hearts here. Have we fallen into the trap of our time? Have we elevated safety above Christ? There have been times in my life when I have withdrawn from, say, missions opportunities because my safety couldn’t be guaranteed. I say this to my shame. Let’s remember that there are greater dangers than the physical, as Jesus reminds us in Luke 12.

“I tell you, my friends, do not fear those who kill the body, and after that have nothing more that they can do. But I will warn you whom to fear: fear him who, after he has killed, has authority to cast into hell.

In other words, there is more than one kind of danger:

Spiritual Danger – the danger of the callousing of our souls that arises when we neglect the ordinances, the gathering, and the one-another ministry of the church.

Relational Danger – the danger to our families and marriages that attends a drift from the life of the church.

Institutional Danger – the danger that arises when the people of God are unable to advance the Gospel mission of the local church in their community.


Don’t underestimate the capacity to deceive ourselves

Because our hearts are Genesis 3 hearts, they are broken. They lead us astray. While the goal of most Hallmark movie series seems to be to convince us that our hearts are the only sure barometer of truth and happiness, the Scriptures paint a different picture. Take Jeremiah 17:9 for instance:

The heart is deceitful above all things,

and desperately sick; who can understand it?

Because of this reality, we have an incredible capacity to convince ourselves of very plausible sounding reasons to do whatever we want. As the old saying goes what the heart desires, the mind can justify. So whatever decision you are making, be on guard against how Satan can use this heart weakness of ours against us. Don’t buy the lie that your heart or will is any stronger than the next sinner’s. Ask God to examine your motives and to confirm or deny the health of the path you are taking.


Remember that virtual church isn’t church

There, I said it. Virtual church is not church. Biblically, there is more to one’s relationship with God than mere information download. The Protestant church service isn’t a kind of Mass that simply needs to be partaken of in order to fulfill a requirement. It’s more than that. The communion of saints is biblically commanded and involves personal contact (see all of 1 John). Indeed, the word for church (ekklesia) literally means “gathering.” In other words, we must gather with a local body who understands themselves to be a church, who have (a) qualified elder(s) / pastor(s) and who partake of the Lord’s Supper and practice Baptism for us to be doing church. Church, in short, is not reducible to the reception of the sermon. It's not less than that, but it's also not simply that. For this reason, if you are distant from your church but don’t feel a yearning to be back, that's a problem. Those who love Christ love his bride, the church. So, as humbly as I can ask, do you feel the pinch of distance? I hope so. We should feel during our times away that something isn’t right.

And yet this doesn’t mean that watching or listening to virtual or recorded sermons and worship services is bad. It’s certainly better than nothing! Your family needs the Word of God. This is not a call to turn off your computer or TV, even though many millennials who thought they could successfully sustain a long-distance relationship with the church sadly already have. This is just a call to remember that the new Live medium isn’t a long-term fix, and it isn’t church in the full sense. Indeed, I am strongly considering leading my church (when the day comes that there is absolutely no reason to be away from church) to discontinue live-streaming in order to put my money where my mouth is and telegraph that the local gathering really is this important.


Don’t pass judgment on those who are keeping their distance

And still, in light of all of these dangers and warnings, we should give a Romans 14 grace to our brothers and sisters. We don’t know their situation. We don’t know their health needs. We don’t know the future or what things may arise. God has given us consciences for a reason. We should respect the conscience decisions of other believers, knowing that it is a sin to sin against one’s conscience (1 Cor 8).

And it is here that I want to reiterate what I have tried to communicate to my church in emails, in Sunday morning addresses, and in this post. We are tasked with honoring Jesus and in doing so with wisdom. If we are – after much prayer – convinced that we are not bowing to the idol of safetyism, not giving the devil a foothold in our marriage, not yielding to the waywardness of our fickle hearts, and genuinely longing to be back with God’s people, there is no reason to have a burdened conscience if what’s wise for your family is to remain physically distant for a season. You should feel no judgment from your church or from your pastor.

Wherever you fall in this broad and complicated process, let’s agree together to pray for God to hasten the day where we can be gathered again, ministering together, loving one another, and pressing on to get about God’s business in our neighborhood and to the nations.


May it be so!

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