In preaching, teaching, and counseling I frequently encounter 3 different misconceptions about sin. Understanding the Scriptural teaching is key to living effectively and allowing the Good News of Jesus to touch down practically in our lives.
Misconception #1: Time Heals the Wound
It's true that the passage of time can help us cool down or remember the truth after we've either been sinned against or committed a sin. The Lord uses time to help us re-calibrate and to remind us of what the Scriptures say about our situation (John 14:26). In this way, we might be able to extend the same kind of forgiveness or repent from our own sin, ourselves. Often, because of our fallenness and heart that is quick to deceive (Jer 17:9), these Gospel responses don't come quickly or easily.
However, while God is patient with us, this doesn't mean that the simple passage of time provides a kind of resolution to the problem. If we have sinned against someone and are aware of it, we should make every effort to make peace (Rom. 12:18). It's usually pride that keeps us from humbling ourselves and asking for forgiveness. It seems much more dignified just to let bygones be bygones. After all, we wouldn't want to give up our status by admitting wrong. Likewise, if we have been sinned against, we should be careful that our fallen sense of justice and our real hurt doesn't turn into an anti-Gospel bitterness. We should extend forgiveness quickly and to the same degree that God has forgiven us our greater sin (See Matt 18: The parable of the Unmerciful Servant). Often our reluctance to extend full forgiveness is caused by a desire to keep power over the one who wronged us. We want to maintain our power. So long as we don't forgive, we reason, we retain the moral high ground.
Misconception #2: The "Big" Sin Against Me Justifies "Smaller" Sins of Retaliation
The Old Covenant tendency to seek an eye for an eye continues to rear its head even for New Covenant believers who are controlled by a Gospel ethic of forgiveness (Matt. 5:38-42). Out of our real hurt, we will battle the temptation to lob relatively "smaller" sins of retaliation back at our enemy. Many times, we can justify this behavior because of the size or hurt of the sin they committed against us.
The problem with this kind of thinking is that it uses the reasoning of the unregenerate world. The New Testament reminds us that "this is not the way you learned Christ" and encourages us to "put off [our] old self, which belongs to [our] former manner of life" (Eph. 4:20, 22). To fail in this work of putting off anger is to invite the devil to gain a foothold in our lives (Eph. 4:26-27). Believers who understand they have been forgiven of much more heinous sin against God than has ever been committed against them are enabled to renew their minds in this way and extend what the unbelieving world considers "stupid" forgiveness.
Misconception #3: There Is No Way God Will Forgive Me of My Sin
In my mind's eye, I can still see the face of the man who had lost hope that he could ever be forgiven. I was doing some door-to-door evangelism when this tired looking gentleman answered my knock. His eyes were bloodshot and the TV was on in the background. I asked him a stock question about whether he believed in heaven and if he thinks he is going there. He was deathly serious when he replied, "there's no way. I am going to bust hell wide open. God would never forgive the things I've done." There were no cavalier notes of boasting in his voice. Only the echo of a hopeless resignedness to his lot.
When we get a sense of the unsurpassed holiness of God and the heinousness of our sin, a despair does set in. However, the Scriptures consistently remind us that there is a remedy for this despair. In Christ, there is no condemnation (Rom. 8:1). While we all stand in judgment due to our sinfulness (John 3:18), there is a way of escape provided through Christ. There is a kind of sorrow that leads to the cul-de-sac of condemnation and despair, alone (2 Cor 7:9-10). But when we view our sorrow/grief over our sin through the lens of the Gospel, we can experience the freedom of the sacrifice Christ made on our behalf (2 Cor 7:10). For those who experience Godly grief and run to Christ, there is a freedom from the power of sin and from the power of condemnation. There is truly no condemnation for those who are trusting in Christ Jesus (Rom 8:1; John 3:36).